Now I could be writing about recent political events, many of which also reek of stupidity, but I find them mostly too depressing to write about. Democrats are calling Republicans hostage takers (terrorists), and Republicans are subsidizing unemployment, and Democrats are talking about tax breaks for millionaires, and Republicans are…whatever.

I’ve actually coined this phenomenon “Bartleby the Scrivener Syndrome.”

Insurance, n. An ingenious modern game of chance…

As someone once remarked to Schubert, take us to your Lieder. Tom Lehrer – from the song “Whatever Became of You, Hubert” from the album That Was the Year that Was OK, it’s an awful pun, but as my favorite teacher said, “Puns are the highest form of humor.” fiat lux!

a politician is an arse upon
which everyone has sat except a man
e.e. cummings

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it. P.J. O’Rourke

Lecturer, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience. Ambrose Bierce.

Cynic – A blackguard who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to improve his vision. Ambrose Bierce

A small assortment of astonishingly loud brass instruments raced each other lustily to the respective ends of their distinct musical choices as the gates flew open to release a torrent of tawny fur comprised of angry yapping bullets that nipped at Desdemona’s ankles, causing her to reflect once again (as blood filled her sneakers and [...]

Non-combatant, n. A dead Quaker. Ambrose Bierce