Politician, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive. Ambrose Bierce.

Oratory, n. A Conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. Ambrose Bierce.

Generalissimo Francisco Obama takes nine months to decide to sort of commit to a temporary effort, and has the gall to announce this bold decision in front of a room full of potential victims of his dithering. These soldiers are about to be sent to a war that their Commander in Chief does not support. Some of them are going to die….

Insurance, n. An ingenious modern game of chance…

Lecturer, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience. Ambrose Bierce.

Cynic – A blackguard who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to improve his vision. Ambrose Bierce

Non-combatant, n. A dead Quaker. Ambrose Bierce

Clarionet, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet — two clarionets. Ambrose Bierce.